Safe, sober and off the streets
New Oxnard women’s rehab home fills a desperate need
By Hannah Guzik 12/06/2007
Since Nov. 18, every time Mona Oneal looks in the mirror, she doesn’t recognize herself.
And that’s a good thing, she told the Reporter last week.
Seven years of homelessness and alcoholism on the streets of Thousand Oaks had taken its toll on Oneal, and a few weeks ago she reached a breaking point.
“I had finally had it. I was sleeping one night and someone kicked me and broke two of my ribs and collapsed my lung. It was dark ,and I couldn’t see who did it. They walked away.”
After that experience, Oneal decided it was time for her to walk away — from her self-medicating addiction she had developed after her third husband, of 12 years, suddenly left.
“That threw me into a spin, and I crawled into the bottle,” said the 49-year-old, a former marketing manager. “I was swimming real hard, but too much longer and I’m sure I would have been dead.
“I like to think Pastor Rob threw me a life raft.”
For several years Pastor Rob Orth, director of operations for the ACTION Foundation, which stands for Area Churches Taking Initiative On Needs, had urged Oneal to get help.
The faith-based nonprofit is now sponsoring her sober living arrangement at the recently opened Pathways house.
Deborah Coss, owner and operator of Pathways, said the recently opened women’s sober living home fills a desperate need in Ventura County.
“Women’s issues are different than men’s,” she said. “They have children, they often have the father involved in their lives, and they’re afraid of losing their children if they admit to having a problem. They’re afraid they won’t be able to make it on their own.”
While no one was able to provide exact numbers on the need for women’s rehab centers in Ventura County, most facilities have waiting lists for beds, and women are frequently turned away.
“That’s why I realized I needed to help my sisters in recovery and to teach them that they can make their lives better,” Coss said.
“They used to say addicts didn’t recover, and we broke that myth. And then they used to say women didn’t recover, and we broke that myth.”
Coss calls herself one of the myth-breakers.
Little more than five years ago, she was homeless, living in the back of a truck and using drugs and alcohol. Then she realized her life needed to change and she moved into a local sober living home.
“People really didn’t think there was much hope for me, but I stuck my nose to the grindstone, and now I know that Debbie can take care of Debbie.”
Now, in addition to running Pathways, Coss works as an apartment manager in Ventura.
Orth agreed that more women’s sober living homes are needed, especially in Simi Valley, Moorpark and the Conejo Valley, he said.
“There’s this ‘not in my backyard’ syndrome, and I can understand that, but these facilities really need to be spread out around the county.
“And ultimately, although most of these homes, like Pathways, are businesses, they still fill a need,” Orth said on a day last month when he made a special visit to the Pathways house to drop off blankets, heaters, towels and books.
Mona was at the house that day, but she was not the same person he had “scooped off the street” only weeks before, Orth said.
“Mona is a miracle in the making,” said Orth. “Every day that goes by, her chances of staying sober increase. In a sense it’s a gamble, but the longer people stay sober, the better their chances are. Mona was willing to ask for help and that’s the big step, that’s the No. 1”
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