Paradise lost
The new grill and sports bar in midtown Ventura makes a bad first impression
By Christina Semaan 07/10/2008
Paradise Grill & Sports Bar
2632 E. Main St., Ventura
648-5927
$4.35-$12.89
The restaurant’s name, Paradise, is far from an accurate description of what it had to offer. Now, I’m one of those people who can appreciate the sort of Mexican food that’s so bad that it’s almost sort of good (I eat at Taco Bell sometimes, I admit), but there were no redeeming qualities to what I ate.
One of the specials of the day was the chicken enchiladas and, thinking that there’s no possible way to go wrong with something so simple, I ordered it. I mean, if they’re calling the dish a “special” I figured it must be at least somewhat good.
To put it bluntly, these enchiladas were not only overpriced ($8.25, which I wouldn’t find outrageous if they were edible), but absolutely toxic. It’s already the next morning and I’m still feeling a bit nauseous as I’m writing this review.
While I was sitting there, trying to stomach these two small enchiladas (which I could not bring myself to finish, so I’m thankful the portions weren’t too big), I tried to pin-point exactly what was wrong with them.
The chicken tasted old, sort of like a worse version of something you might find in a frozen dinner. As for the sauce, I know I could find better if I went to the supermarket.
Their drinks couldn’t even make up for what the food lacked. A friend of mine had a margarita, which she described as “salty and warm” — two words you probably don’t want to associate with your margarita, especially if you specifically asked not to have the glass rim salted (which it wasn’t, so who knows where the salty flavor came from).
She wasn’t able to tell me if there was enough tequila in it or not since she couldn’t get past the first few sips before giving up on it. For $6.75, you’d expect a margarita to be better than that, especially when there are some pretty divine $3 margaritas out there.
The only thing I ate that didn’t make me feel sick to my stomach was the cheesecake. I’d say that you can’t go wrong with something like that, but apparently there’s a lot that can go wrong with anything, which was proven to me in the form of the two frighteningly bad chicken enchiladas.
The one compliment I can give regarding this common dessert is that they certainly know how to present it and, when your customers know that you’re probably giving them something out of a box, presentation makes a big difference.
I ordered it with whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate syrup, which the waitress used to make a design, mimicking what one might see on a cooking show when someone’s trying to fancy-up an otherwise plain dish.
For the spacious size of the place, they didn’t do much in the way of décor despite having so much to work with. Not too long ago, Paradise was Chuy’s, so maybe they’re still in the process of revamping its look, but it didn’t seem that way.
The walls were decorated with what seemed like colorful graffiti-inspired designs, which didn’t add much to the place. In fact, it made the restaurant look a bit sloppy. The dim lighting probably worked to their advantage since, if it were brighter, it might look even less appealing.
It seemed to have more of a surfer theme than something that’d remind one of paradise, with sharks in lifesavers dangling from the ceiling and surf boards used to decorate the wall. For me, paradise wouldn’t include salty and warm margaritas or chicken enchiladas that make you feel nauseous until the next morning.
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Warm, salty Margaritas? Where do I sign up?
Everyone's so excited with downtown Ventura's clubs and restaurants and worried about the demise of mid-town. Yet all you need to do is venture a few blocks into mid-town and find joints like Paradise and Billy O's to realize why people go downtown. Together they take 'dive bar' to new depths.
Paradise has one of the few open-air patios in the area, plenty of parking, room for a band. Unfortunately they offer some of the worst food and beverage in town. Don't get me started on Billy O's!
I hope this article motivates the new owners to look at what they have and build their restaurant to a popular neighborhood meeting place by improving service and food!