Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19)
What perplexing defeat was inflicted on you once upon a time — a defeat that you still can’t figure out how to rise above? What painful memory continues to lurk at the edges of your awareness, taunting you with its implication that you’ll never be whole? This is the time and this is the place, Aries, to solve a riddle like that so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life. You will get unexpected help and inspiration if you make it your intention to heal what has been hard to heal. Halloween costume suggestion: a doctor or nurse wearing a sign that says, “Physician, heal thyself.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, Taurus. Please read that last sentence again, drinking it in as if it were an elixir you’ve been longing for since you were 13 years old. Here are some corollaries: You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations. There’s no need to strive for a kind of perfection that’s not very interesting to you. You don’t have to believe in ideas that make you sad or tormented, and you don’t have to feel emotions that others try to manipulate you into feeling. In short, you are free to be exactly who you want to be. Celebrate that this Halloween season. Costume yourself as the person you’ve been hiding.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
On some occasions in the coming week, you’ll be wise to act loyal, playful and unironically enthusiastic. At those times, you will attract the influences you need if you adopt the mindset of a dog that loves to play Frisbee. On other occasions, Gemini, I advise you to be cannily self-possessed, fiercely attuned to your own needs, and determined to move at your own pace. Cat-like behavior will be rewarded at those times. Halloween costume suggestion: half-dog and half-cat.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past,” said Thomas Jefferson. It might feel a bit unnatural to live as if that were your motto, Cancerian, but I hope you’ll try it for a while. Here’s the experiment I propose:  Whenever you have a spare moment, visualize a pleasurable and interesting scene you would like to create for yourself in the future. If a fearful image pops into your mind as you do that, imagine yourself rolling that image up into a ball and throwing it into a roaring fire. Meanwhile, any time your attention begins to wander off in the direction of the old days and old ways, pounce on it and redirect it into a vision of a fulfillment to come. Halloween costume suggestion: the person you’ll be five years from now.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
According to San Francisco’s Famous Wayne, the shoeshine king of the world, very few women get their shoes shined. Meanwhile, Ngo Thi Lam, the proprietress of the nail salon near my house, says that only a tiny percentage of her pedicure customers are men. I hope that you Leos buck these trends in the coming days. It’s high time for you to try new approaches to the lowest part of you. You need to become more grounded, and an excellent way to expedite the shift will be to pay close, creative attention to your feet. Halloween costume suggestion: Find or create gorgeous, extravagant shoes that don’t make your feet hurt.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
If you and I were members of the French Resistance during the German occupation of our country in World War II, I’d want you to serve as the communication hub for our community. With understated ferocity, you would gather data about what’s going on behind the scenes. You’d be precise and economical in relaying messages between your comrades and allies, accurately representing the information people entrusted you with. You would be alert without being overwrought, and discerning without getting distracted by inefficient rage. In that dire setting, Virgo, I bet you’d be indispensable. I challenge you to bring those same skills to bear in the relatively benign circumstances you’re now in the midst of. Halloween costume suggestion: French Resistance leader.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
“If you don’t make mistakes,” says Nobel Prize-winning physicist Frank Wilczek, “you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.” Take that to heart, Libra. Here are some of the questions you might want to ask yourself in the coming days: 1. “Am I dallying with minor challenges that are beneath me?” 2. “Are my current dilemmas truly worthy of my soulful intelligence?” 3. “Should I go in search of more interesting problems?” 4. “Is it time to upgrade the level of mistakes that I’m risking?” Halloween costume suggestions: a magnificent klutz, a daring clown or a pioneer wearing a big Band-Aid on your booboo.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
In the coming week, you can generate a lot of good karma for yourself by being an initiator. That’s why I advise you never to sit back passively and merely watch what’s unfolding, but rather formulate a vision of what you’d like to see happen, set your intention to make it happen, and then plunge into action with brisk aplomb. Halloween costume suggestions: fire-starter, seed- planter, fertility god or goddess.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Medical insurance is out of reach for 46 million of my fellow Americans. Our country is at war in Afghanistan and Iraq as well as with a ghostly omnipresent foe known as terrorism. Our national debt is stupendous, our stock market has plunged, and many companies once thought to be towers of strength have failed. Meanwhile, right next door, Canada has universal healthcare and a budget surplus. Its banks are solvent and it’s embroiled in zero wars. Am I jealous? Of course. Am I planning to emigrate? No. I’m going to stay here and keep agitating for goodness and justice and beauty. After evaluating your astrological omens, Sagittarius, I suggest that you do the equivalent in your own life: Stand your ground as you work to fix the flawed situation you’ve been given; don’t flee to where the grass seems greener. Halloween costume suggestions: an elder statesman, wise crone, or charismatic teacher.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You have the potential to throw the best party ever, and also to elevate the radiance of other people’s parties through the force of your personality. Your social instincts are superb, by which I mean they’re brilliant when it comes to mixing business and pleasure and knowing how to strengthen alliances while invoking maximum fun. Your knack for getting people to work together in a noble purpose is at a peak. Halloween costume suggestion: a cross between a party animal and a community organizer. Or you and your friends could re-enact the Boston Tea Party.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
If I were dressing you for Halloween, I would be inclined to draw on the inspiration of those old fairy tales that feature the theme of restoration: like the prince who, because of a curse, has lived for years as a frog, only to be returned to his rightful body and role through the kiss of a merciful soul; or like a princess who is stolen as a baby from the royal family by an old bear and raised by the beast in a forest cave, but is finally tracked down and rescued by the queen on one of her endless searches. I bet your actual life will feature a storyline similar to those.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
If you knew how perfect a time it is for you to dance the forbidden dance, you would begin immediately. You would break out the sexy, world-in-upheaval grooves you sometimes slip into during your ecstatic flying dreams. You would unleash the words that have never been spoken, crack the codes that have never been broken, and give the love that has previously been verboten. Please, dear Pisces, have faith in your ability to thrive in the wild frontier where many of the rules are negotiable and every fantasy is ripe to be mutated. Halloween costume suggestion: the dancer who dances the forbidden dance.

Homework: What is your greatest fear? Make fun of it this Halloween.  Tell me about it at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Our government spends an obscene fortune on its armed forces — almost as much as do all the other nations of the world combined. In fact, we are by far the most weaponized empire in the history of the world, with 761 military bases in more than 100 countries. If our military costs were cut down to a more reasonable size  — say the same as China’s — we’d have a trillion-dollar bonus to deal with the financial infection that erupted here and sent toxic ripples throughout the world. Keeping that in mind as a metaphor, Aries, make this your hypothesis: By reducing the hostility, combativeness and judgmental ire that you personally generate, you’ll be far more likely to navigate your way toward prosperity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
The days leading up to the national election feature a rare opposition between Saturn and Uranus. Since Saturn symbolizes the past and Uranus the future, we might expect there to be a showdown between what has been and what will be, not only on a collective level but also in our personal realms. In what areas of your life do you think that will materialize, Taurus? Identify those hot spots, then get to work coordinating synergistic interactions between the seemingly contrary forces.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Write the number 10 followed by 11 zeroes. Our Milky Way Galaxy has that many stars. Write a 10 followed by 12 zeroes. That’s the size of America’s national debt in dollars. Now promise me that for the next month, you will avoid absorbing any scary, overwhelming data like the kind I just threw at you. Worrying about the big financial picture would not only be fruitless, it would also distract you from your main tasks, which are as follows: Regard the crisis as an excellent opportunity to shed materialistic obsessions and live more humbly and creatively. Sublimate your buy-ological urges into biological urges. Stretch yourself to get into closer touch with your spiritual core.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
As the stock markets came crashing down, a different kind of global devastation received scant notice. The World Conservation Congress revealed that 25 percent of the planet’s mammal species and one out of eight birds are close to extinction. We’re not just talking about exotic animals in remote hideaways, but rabbits and deer and cardinals and turtledoves. As you meditate on how to reinvent yourself in the wake of the financial chaos, Cancerian, please hold a vigil in your heart for the endangered creatures. The two crises are related, after all. The greed to turn everything into a means of generating money has led humans to both despoil nature and risk the crazy gambles that have savaged the economy. The more you understand that, the better your intuition will be as you make personal decisions affecting your future relationship with money.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
TV’s “The Daily Show” did a mock biography of your fellow Leo, Barack Obama, poking fun at the adoration he inspires in millions of people around the world. Every time he speaks, said the narrator, “an angel has an orgasm.” According to my analysis, you now have a scaled-down version of that power. You may not incite the same intensity of pleasure in the heavenly hosts, but you could definitely unleash eruptions of raw enthusiasm in numerous humans. I suggest that like, Obama, you channel it in service to a cause beyond your own selfish interests.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
When the planet Uranus comes into play, as it is now, it’s a good time to initiate experiments that will expedite the arrival of future blessings. Pushing beyond comforting habits, you thrive by going in quest of bracing truths, unfashionable beauty and wild justice. The symbolic nature of Saturn is different. It invites you to creatively limit and discipline yourself so that fate isn’t forced to limit and discipline you in unpleasant ways. It so happens, Virgo, that Uranus and Saturn are now poised in opposition to each other. Will they work at cross-purposes, spawning a sticky mess? Or is there a way for you to get them to work together? More than you imagine, you have the power to affect how they interact in your personal sphere.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
“I cannot tell if the day is ending, or the world, or if the secret of secrets is inside me again.” So wrote Jane Kenyon, translating Russian poet Anna Akhmatova. At this juncture in history, that’s a feeling many of us have. Part of the time, we’re on the verge of freaking out, half-expecting some new calamity to befall the world. Other times, we’re awash in wonder and awe, catching glimpses of the miraculous flow that’s hidden just below the surface of everyday chaos; we’re tantalizingly close to understanding that everything is proceeding exactly as it should. In the coming weeks, this excruciating poignancy will peak, especially for you. Regard it as a gift — as a difficult blessing that has the potential to free you of your illusions.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
What do you do when you’re squeezed between the demands of authority and the healthy need to rebel? How do you respond when the past and future are at odds? What resources do you draw on when the person you have always been starts to evolve into an interesting new form that you don’t recognize? You’ve come to a fork in the road, Scorpio, when you will be asked to deal with these questions on a larger scale than before. My advice? Study your past so thoroughly that you’ll be able to keep it from repeating itself, and open your mind to possibilities you’ve rarely considered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
The world is poised at the threshold of a great choice: Should we stick with what has worked for us, even though it’s not working any more? Or should we experiment with possibilities that may work for us in the future, even though they don’t have a track record? You, Sagittarius, can and should be a leader in this epic adventure. The best way to do that is to summon your dormant courage as you apply the big questions I just posed to the specific circumstances of your personal life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The planet Saturn symbolizes the preservative and conservative tendencies of evolution. It teaches us to learn from the past and keeps us from rushing into the frontier before we’re ready. Uranus, on the other hand, represents future shocks, both the disturbing and benevolent kinds. It disturbs our sleep in order to wake us up and energizes us to reinvent ourselves on the fly. What happens when these two planets slip into an intimate dynamic, as they are now? Will one of them prevail over the other in a great battle? Or will they coordinate their efforts artfully in a riveting, gorgeous dance? Amazingly enough, the outcome depends in part on you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
No faking allowed, Aquarius. I mean it. You must do no pretending, tell no dirty lies, and never act as if you know things you don’t truly know. Instead, say exactly what you mean; be more real than you have ever dared to be; be nothing more and nothing less than who you actually are. Why is this authenticity crusade so important right now? Because in the coming weeks, you’ll be setting your life’s tone for months to come. You will be planting more seeds than you can imagine.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Uranus symbolizes your instinct for freedom, your drive to express your dormant genius, and your attunement with your intuition. Saturn represents structure and responsibility; when it’s prominent, it’s time to get back to basics and cut down on distractions and excesses. So what should you do when these two planets are in exact opposition, as they are now? Here’s one hint: We’re all being squeezed between a mandate to head toward the frontier and the pressure to play it safe. To keep from being paralyzed, some of us may have to choose one way over the other. In my opinion, you Pisceans are likely to profit by choosing the Uranian path.

You can hear my free podcasts here: tinyurl.com/3e8u86. They include “You Are a Gorgeous Genius” and “Evil Is Boring.”

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

“Sometimes the fastest way to get there/ is to go slow,” sings Tina Dico in her song “Count to Ten.” “Sometimes if you want to hold on/ you’ve got to let go.” That’s a ripe oracle for you to meditate on, Aries. As you explore the nuances of its meaning, you may discover secrets about how life is always working behind the scenes to balance things out. You might also see that going to any extreme will often attract the opposite extreme into your life; an excess of yang can lead to yin, and vice versa.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

I usually don’t have to tell you Bulls how important it is to finish what you’ve started. You are, after all, among the top three signs of the zodiac when it comes to following through. But just in case you’ve momentarily fallen under the sway of a delusion that would encourage you to escape before the resolution is fully in place, I’m here to remind you: It’s time to make the art of completion your graceful obsession.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Who are the best enemies we have ever had? According to David Brown in the Washington Post, they are the thousands of endogenous retroviruses that attacked our ancestors for millions of years. In response to their evil invasions, we humans have had to build our rough, tough immune system, which is one of the most amazing creations on the planet. Let’s make this your inspirational metaphor for the coming weeks, Gemini. I urge you to welcome the opportunities that your adversaries are going to give you to grow bigger, stronger and more beautiful.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Sometimes it makes sense for you to be conservative and cautious and skeptical of novelty. A periodic immersion in the slow-motion approach helps you maintain a strong center of gravity and allows you to be true to yourself in the face of the pressure you get to be like everyone else. The past few weeks have been such a time for you, Cancerian. Soon, though, you’ll begin to feel urges to take some risks, instigate fresh trends, and express yourself with more daring and expansiveness. Are you game?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Futurists predict that in 30 years many of us will have robots as our best friends. But I believe it’s already the case that machines are our boon companions. You may not have a name for your computer or iPhone, but you interact with it as if it were an animate and intimate assistant. Music or TV or talk radio might be turned on in your home around the clock, providing a constant flow of comforting noise. I know people who derive a sense of coziness from the hum of the refrigerator or the rumble blowing through the heating vents. Have you ever talked to your car? Kicked a temperamental appliance? Used a sex toy? This is the best week ever for you to acknowledge your symbiosis with the alien life forms we depend on.

Now go kiss your laptop. Caress your toaster.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“If you could ask everyone you met one question, what would it be?” A reader named Ty Sassaman e-mailed me with that query. As I thought about what my response would be, I considered questions like “What’s the one thing you most want to accomplish before you die many years from now?” or “What could you do to bring more intelligence into the way you love?” But ultimately I decided on “What is your soul’s code?” How about you, Virgo? What would be your prime question?

I suggest that in the coming days you ask it of everyone you encounter. You’re in a phase in your astrological cycle when focused curiosity is a kind of superpower.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Describing the poet Kenneth Koch, his colleague John Ashbery said that his work “gives you the impression that you are leading an interesting life; going to parties and meeting interesting people, falling in love, going for rides in the country and to public swimming pools, eating in the best restaurants and going to movies and the theater in the afternoons. By comparison, most other modern poetry makes me feel as if I were living in a small Midwestern university town.” In the coming weeks, Libra, I exhort you to have an impact on people that’s like Koch’s poetry. Here’s the best way to do that: Live the most interesting and imaginative life you can dream up.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

If you’re a left-winger, you may think right-wingers are stupid or evil or both. If you’re a right-winger, you probably hold the same attitudes about left-wingers. A similar pattern prevails between most other groups that hold opposing views.

You’re a rare person if you’ve never looked at a certain group of people and thought to yourself, “They are all sick idiots.” But in the coming week, Scorpio, I’m asking you to find out what it’s like to dispense with judgments like that. In fact, try living without any scapegoats whatsoever. If even for an hour per day, visualize the possibility that those with whom you disagree might be sincere and well-meaning. I’m not suggesting this exercise merely because it’s a nice thing to do. It will also have the magical effect of giving you access to parts of your own intelligence that have been closed off to you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

“Be humble for you are made of dung,” says a Serbian proverb. “Be noble for you are made of stars.” I expect that you’ll soon be getting vivid evidence of that truth, Sagittarius. Your challenge will be to resist the temptation to believe that you’re more dung than stars, or more stars than dung. That might be hard, given the fact that practically everyone around you believes they are one or the other. But I promise you that you have the power to do it. You can exude cheerful equanimity while dwelling right at the crux of the paradox.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Describing a Jupiter transit, Capricorn astrologer Steven Forrest wrote, “Life is a train wreck, except the trains are made of cake and ice cream.” Amen to that, bro. I’d add that a Jupiter transit might also be imagined as being on the verge of too many orgasms, or getting forced to make a painful choice between fantastic wealth and amazing power, or having well-meaning allies overwhelm you with help. Now, as you enter the last 12 weeks of Jupiter’s year-long journey through your astrological house of beginnings, I’m expecting you to harvest some of the most delightful and enriching “messes” ever.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In a recent horoscope, I urged people to convince everyone around them to take more responsibility and be more accountable. In response, a reader named Rene wrote, “I can’t think of ANYTHING more futile! Convincing other people to be anything other than the way they are is a misguided and losing proposition. Unless people have hired you as their therapist, or adopted you as their guru, they are not likely to take your opinions about their behavior seriously.” Rene did acknowledge that it’s possible to subtly inspire people by being a stirring example of the behavior you’d like to see in them. Since I think her observations are not only wise but also pertinent to your current situation, I’m passing them on to you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In medieval Europe, more resources and human ingenuity were lavished upon cathedrals and churches than on any other buildings. In the last hundred years, the emphasis has been different, having switched to the towering structures that house institutions dedicated to commerce. By that measure, Money is a far more important God than God. During the next few weeks, Pisces, I invite you to buck the modern trend. As an experiment, see if you can devote at least one more percent of your energy and intelligence to matters of the spirit and soul than to the demands of the material realm. I suspect you’ll find, ironically, that this will lead to an increase of your mastery over the material realm.

Homework: Test this hypothesis: By giving up a useless “valuable” that you don’t really need, you’ll ensure the arrival of a real valuable that you do need. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Writing in The New York Times, Paul Krugman waxed snide as he described the mindset of the U.S. Congress. It “has always had a soft spot for ‘experts’ who tell members what they want to hear,” he wrote. It’s very important, Aries, that in the coming week you avoid that kind of behavior. In fact, I recommend that you seek out people who have a track record for intelligent objectivity, and ask them to tell you what you might not want to hear. At the very least, solicit insights from thoughtful types who aren’t inhibited about giving you their perspectives on what you’re doing. It’s Feedback Season.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
“Dear Rob Brezsny: I am Chandra Gupti, born May 16, 1979, in New Delhi. Right now, I am not well settled due to searing problems and swampy hurt. Day by day, my position goes down lower and darker, with no lantern or rope ladder. So please tell me how long this foolish suffering period will further corrode my hope. Give me at least a thousand answers that will heal every test and trial as soon as possible. I will lie in bed until you reply. Thank you. — Unraveled Taurus.” Dear Unraveled Taurus: I love you with all my heart and soul and mind. I have adored you since the beginning of time and will worship your gorgeous genius until eternity changes into infinity. Dear All the Other Tauruses in the World: Everything I just told Unraveled Taurus I now say to you as well. (P.S. A divine tinkerer will offer you a lantern and rope ladder within 10 days. Hold on.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Maybe you have never been able to fly before today, and maybe you won’t be able to fly when November arrives, but I bet you can fly now. Due to the benevolent cosmic agitation that has been lightening your mood, you can probably, if you choose, soar over logjams, dance above dark clouds, and do loop de loops in your dreams. Am I merely speaking metaphorically? Yes and no. Is a spiritual orgasm “metaphorical”?

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
One of the most famous pop culture icons in Indonesia died last July. Mak Erot, who was more than 100 years old, was renowned for her skill in helping men develop bigger penises. The official story was that she used nothing more than prayers and herbs, but there are hints that she also had supernatural powers. She’s your patron saint this week, Cancerian, even if you’re a woman. I am calling on her inspiration, and I hope you will too, to help you lengthen and strengthen your inner, metaphorical phallus, by which I mean your will to accomplish your dreams.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
Popular conceptions of Jesus depict him as bearded and long-haired. Not so, declares fundamentalist Pastor Jack Hyles on his Web site. He says Christ was clean-shaven and had a pixie-cut hairstyle parted in the middle and curled up at the ends. After studying Hyles’ arguments, however, I believe his evidence is flimsy — just as I find no merit in his implication that Jesus was a stuffy, prudish right-winger who loved rich white men best and taught that we should eliminate people we disagree with. So I’m sticking with my image of Jesus as a peaceful yet rebellious hippie who didn’t own property, hung out with social outcasts, was strongly anti-authoritarian, and loved everyone, even his enemies. I bring this to your attention, Leo, in the hope that you’ll be inspired by my example. It’s time to revisit one of your best teacher’s essential messages, and rededicate yourself to those beautiful truths.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
With the help of a Norwegian space facility, the Frito-Lay company has used radar to beam a commercial for its Doritos tortilla chips to 47 Ursae Majoris, a star 42 light years away. Astronomers believe that habitable planets circle the star, so any creatures living there will eventually get an invitation to enjoy the crunchy corn goodness that so many earthlings have sampled. I’m making this vignette your metaphor of the week, Virgo. May it inspire you to formulate an “advertisement” for yourself and your specialties that will spread far and wide, reaching a new audience and activating your future potential.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Please spend some time in the coming week meditating on the epic tale of your life journey. Why? Because it would be an excellent time for you to begin writing your autobiography. Don’t tell me you’re afraid that such a project would be presumptuous. The way I see it, the planets are aligned in such a way as to suggest that you now have extra insight about the big picture of your destiny. So I hope you will at least create an outline of the story you will eventually put down in words, complete with predictions of what will be unfolding for you five years from today, and 10 years, and 15 years.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
The bad news is that you are, metaphorically speaking, in jail. The good news is that a recent visitor sneaked you the key to the locked door of your cell. The weird news: You have not yet realized that you have the means to escape, since your visitor did not actually tell you that the key is hidden inside a certain thing he or she left behind. The great news is that I’m here to inform you about the situation. Once you locate the key, Scorpio, slip your hand between the iron bars so you can fit the key into the keyhole from the front. It won’t work from behind.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
A certain connection you’ve been wishing for and fantasizing about will soon become available — if, that is, you shed your expectations about how it will come about, and if you shed your ideas about what will happen after the two of you get together, and if you shed all hope of controlling that person’s feelings about you. In other words, Sagittarius, you can finally have the alliance you want, but only if you no longer want it in the way you’ve wanted it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
For the next week, Capricorn, be an expanded and intensified version of yourself. In other words, do what’s most unique about you, but do it even more and better and more clearly than you normally do. If, for example, your specialty is being an emotionally intelligent organizer who artfully creates order, do that with even more flair than usual. If you have an exceptional knack for building structures that bring out the best in people, go crazy with that skill. It’s a perfect moment for you to be bigger than life. Why? Because you have more power than usual to change the world around you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
The most important advice you need to hear right now comes from musician Brian Eno, as quoted in Ode magazine: “I want to encourage you to sing. … I believe singing is the key to a long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, greater intelligence, new friends, increased self-confidence, heightened sexual attractiveness and a sense of humor.” You should note, however, that Eno’s prescription does not include performing for other people. He believes it’s crucial that you sing for your own pleasure, and not be concerned about what others’ reactions might be. You need “the freedom to get it wrong.” That’s a perfect guideline for you to observe in everything you do this week.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
In her poem “Pure,” Kate Knapp Johnson speaks of “those who made me real to myself.” I invite you, Pisces, to take an inventory of the people in your life who’ve made you real to yourself. That would be excellent homework for you to do during the phase of intensified intimacy you’re now in — a time when your allies are making even you even more real to yourself than you’ve ever been, as well as a time when you will be returning the favor to them.
Homework: I dare you to bestow a blessing on a person you’ve considered to be beneath you or alien to you. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

In her book Courtney Love The Queen of Noise, Melissa Rossi reports that in the mid-1990s, “Courtney surrounded herself with a coterie of soothsayers, even approaching hipster stargazer Rob Brezsny, who declined to provide his astrological services.” Rossi doesn’t explain why I declined, but I’ll tell you. Courtney wasn’t interested in the kind of information I specialize in. She pressed me to tell her whether her romantic future should be with Trent or Billy, and I urged her to talk about the changes she could make in herself and her life to get clear about what she wanted. She implored me to predict her future, and I prodded her to formulate intelligent questions that would help her create a beautiful and interesting future for herself. I bring this up, Aries, because in the coming weeks I hope you will do what I suggested she try back then.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Taurus actor Pierce Brosnan told Parade magazine how shocking it was to get fired after playing the role of James Bond for four films. But after the initial pain he felt from being rejected, he eventually got to the point where he could say, “I’m free now. I can do anything I want.” What helped him recover was conjuring up the proper attitude. “You’ve got to be a fighting rooster,” he said. That’s half of my prescription for you in the coming week, Taurus. Be a charismatic warrior as you push to further your highest ideals and brightest desires. Be a stylishly fierce liberator in charge of designing your own freedom. Be a fighting rooster with the heart of an artist.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Do you believe in higher love at first sight? How about instant enlightenment? And what about higher love at first sight that brings instant enlightenment, or instant enlightenment that provokes higher love at first sight? These are themes I suspect you’ll soon be flirting with, Gemini. In order to get all of the blessings from the lessons they’ll offer, you must dispense with your preconceived notions about what they might entail. You’ve got to wash your own brain so it’s nice and clean and empty of expectations.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Your creed for the last three months of 2008 comes from Nikos Kazantzakis “By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.” Memorize this meme, Cancerian. Imprint it on your subconscious mind. Make it so much a part of you that it breathes as you breathe, and dreams as you dream. Allow it to turn you into a magician whose potent desire is as strong as the longings of 10 normal people put together.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Gleeking is a term that refers to a special kind of projectile spitting. To do it, you’ve got to practice. It involves pressing your tongue against your submaxillary salivary gland when a pool of drool has accumulated nearby. I recommend this practice for you in the coming week, Leo. It’ll be a favorable time for you to be undignified, unpredictable and even outrageous in expressing yourself. Other suggested practices telling unruly stories concisely, speaking the truth with picturesque but disciplined extravagance, adding some vivid new slang to your body language, and skipping and hopping or even dancing as you walk. (For instructions on how to gleek, go to tinyurl.com/hn7vo.)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Talk back to those annoying voices in your head, Virgo — I mean those nagging little chatterers who are second-guessing you 10 times a day, who are trying to undermine your faith in what you started in recent weeks. And as you respond to their agitation, do so with poise and grace — not with defensiveness, not with bitter complaint, but with a quietly aggressive confidence that the lucid intuitions you relied on to launch your new projects were basically sound. The annoying little voices are trying to convince you that you should go back to square one, when in fact you’re on the right track but merely need to do some tinkering.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“New ideas show up disguised innocently as interruptions, contradictions and embarrassing dilemmas,” says motivational speaker Rob Lebow. “Beware of total strangers and friends alike who shower you with comfortable sameness, and remain open to those who make you uneasy, for they are the true messengers of the future.” That excellent advice is my birthday present to you, Libra. If you make use of it during the next three weeks, I bet you’ll consistently be in the right place at the right time to extract the maximum benefit from your blind dates with destiny.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Robert Downey Jr. is grateful to Burger King for serving him such gross food. After eating a particularly foul meal there in 2003, he told Empire magazine, he was so disgusted that he drove to the beach and hurled all of his drugs into the sea. It was the shock he needed to begin the process of kicking his addiction. In that spirit, Scorpio, I suggest you seek out a similar epiphany — whether that involves an encounter with greasy, fried cow meat or some other phenomenon that triggers your urge to rise up and purify yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

It’s a seller’s market for you, Sagittarius. If I were you, I wouldn’t buy a bunch of new stuff or invest in unripe possibilities. Rather, I’d cash in on the hard work I’ve been doing for many months now. I’d quit while I was ahead. I’d liquefy assets that might soon decline in their value to me but that are still at the height of their value to other people. In order for you to summon the brisk confidence necessary to pull this off, you’ll have to resist greedy temptations to hold on to everything a little while longer.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Most American companies don’t pay any federal income tax. During a recent seven-year period, 1.3 million businesses earned well over a trillion dollars but didn’t pony up a penny to the U.S. government. I mention this, Capricorn, because it’s now a favorable time, astrologically speaking, for you to seek comparable perks. Look into this, please  Maybe you don’t have to keep having your assets drained in ways you’ve always assumed were inevitable. I’m talking metaphorically as well as literally; I’m referring to emotional and psychic energy as well as actual money. Are there any legal and ethical loopholes you can exploit to free yourself from long-running burdens?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Once upon a time, Brave Aquarius wandered out to the edge of the known universe in search of mind-blowing sensations and foreign titillations and clues to the future. So imagine Brave Aquarius’ amazement when the rather attractive ogre who was guarding the rope bridge that crossed over the abyss said, “Stop! You’re headed the wrong way! The mind-blowing sensations and foreign titillations and clues to the future you crave are back in the direction you came from. In fact, they are all the way back where you started.” What to do? The ogre’s advice was counterintuitive and downright confounding. But Brave Aquarius, being foremost an experimental adventurer, thought, “Hmmm. I guess maybe I’ll try what the ogre suggested. What could be more experimental and adventurous than changing my mind?”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Blessings will come if you cultivate as much stillness as possible. I’m not just talking about reducing the noise levels, although that’s a good first step. Other things you might want to do Cut way down on your use of the phone; text-message sparingly; surf the Internet 70 percent less than usual; avoid watching TV news altogether; and don’t hang around people whose minds zip around like chimps on meth. As for your own monkey mind.  See if you can enjoy some periods each day when the monkey gets to lie down in a soft place and watch the wide sky roll by.

Homework: If your Future Self came to you and said, “You’ve really got to get rid of those two beliefs that are holding you back,” which ones would you choose? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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UPCOMING COMMUNITY EVENTS

  1. Ventura Water Presents the 7th Annual Water: Take 1 Film Festival

    March 21 @ 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
  2. Irish Film: Wind That Shakes The Barley

    March 21 @ 7:00 pm - 9:30 pm
  3. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time *Ventura County Premiere*

    March 21 @ 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm
  4. WEEKLY SOUND BATH – THOUSAND OAKS

    March 22 @ 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm
  5. BREAKING LEGS

    March 22 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
  6. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time *Ventura County Premiere*

    March 22 @ 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm
  7. OLIVAS ADOBE ANNUAL USED BOOK SALE

    March 23 @ 11:00 am - March 24 @ 4:00 pm
  8. Studio Channel Islands Collector’s Choice 2019

    March 23 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
  9. AN EVENING WITH JOHN ROBLES AND CHUCUMITE At Santa Paula Theater Center

    March 23 @ 7:30 pm - 10:30 pm
  10. BREAKING LEGS

    March 23 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm

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