Billed as one of the West Coast’s largest gatherings of pirates, don’t expect illegal activity, but do brush up on your pirate speak. (Tip: switch your Facebook language to Pirate to get a feel for it, matey.) A sure cure for the time traveler’s blues, the bucolic Lake Casitas will be transformed into a 16th century pirate village replete with hundreds of costumed performers, battle re-enactments, treasure hunts (arr!), costume contests, a tavern (get in the hog’s head) and two stages featuring continuous entertainment.

Contrary to popular belief, Ren fairs are not just for fantasy nerds, gamers and Bard-o-philes. A few ways to know that you will enjoy the Renaissance Pirate Fair:

You can’t get enough of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland

You own the entire collector’s edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy DVDs

You drink from a jug

You actually celebrate national Talk Like a Pirate Day

You do a mean Captain Jack Sparrow impression

You have a sword mounted on your bedroom wall

You are younger than 12

You have children who are younger than 12

Your fashion sense leans toward tunics and chain mail

The 21st annual Ojai Renaissance Pirate Faire will also offer a chance to visit with Bess the Pirate Queen, purchase all sorts of interesting collectibles, eat with your  bare hands and laugh at all the silly people (yourself included).

Saturday and Sunday, May 22 and 23, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Lake Casistas, Ojai. Admission is $16 adults, $14 seniors, $8 kids 12 and younger, free for everyone else. Parking is $5. For more information, call 496-6036 or visit www.goldcoastfestivals.com.