Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
I’m afraid your vibes are slightly out of tune. Can you do something about that, please? Meanwhile, your invisible friend could really use a Tarot reading, and your houseplants would benefit from a dose of Mozart. Plus — and I hope I’m not being too forward here — your charmingly cluttered spots are spiraling into chaotic sprawl, and your slight tendency to overreact is threatening to devolve into a major proclivity. As for that rather shabby emotional baggage of yours: Would you consider hauling it to the dump? In conclusion, my dear Ram, you’re due for a few adjustments.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
Is happiness mostly just an absence of pain? If so, I bet you’ve been pretty content lately. But what if a more enchanting and exciting kind of bliss were available? Would you have the courage to go after it? Could you summon the chutzpah and the zeal and the visionary confidence to head out in the direction of a new frontier of joy? I completely understand if you feel shy about asking for more. You might worry that to do so would be greedy, or put you at risk of losing what you have already scored. But I feel it’s my duty to cheer you on. The potential rewards looming just over the hump are magnificent.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
I’ve got some medicine for you to try, Gemini. It’s advice from the writer Thomas Merton. “To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns,” he wrote, “to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to the violence of our times.” It’s always a good idea to heed that warning, of course. But it’s especially crucial for you right now. The best healing work you can do is to shield your attention from the din of the outside world and tune in reverently to the glimmers of the inside world.

 
CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
I dreamed you were a magnanimous taskmaster nudging the people you care about to treat themselves with more conscientious tenderness. You were pestering them to raise their expectations and hew to higher standards of excellence. Your persistence was admirable! You coaxed them to waste less time and make long-range educational plans and express themselves with more confidence and precision. You encouraged them to give themselves a gift now and then and take regular walks by bodies of water. They were suspicious of your efforts to make them feel good, at least in the early going. But eventually they gave in and let you help them.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
In the spirit of Sesame Street, I’m happy to announce that this week is brought to you by the letter T, the number 2, and the color blue. Here are some of the “T” words you should put extra emphasis on: togetherness, trade-offs, tact, timeliness, tapestry, testability, thoroughness, teamwork, and Themis (goddess of order and justice). To bolster your mastery of the number 2, meditate on interdependence, balance, and collaboration. As for blue, remember that its presence tends to bring stability and depth.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
In the creation myths of Easter Island’s native inhabitants, the god who made humanity was named Makemake. He was also their fertility deity. Today the name Makemake also belongs to a dwarf planet that was discovered beyond the orbit of Neptune in 2005. It’s currently traveling through the sign of Virgo. I regard it as being the heavenly body that best symbolizes your own destiny in the coming months. In the spirit of the original Makemake, you will have the potential to be a powerful maker. In a sense, you could even be the architect and founder of your own new world. Here’s a suggestion: Look up the word “creator” in a thesaurus, write the words you find there on the back of your business card, and keep the card in a special place until May 2013.


LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
When novelist James Joyce began to suspect that his adult daughter Lucia was mentally ill, he sought advice from psychologist Carl Jung. After a few sessions with her, Jung told her father that she was schizophrenic. How did he know? A telltale sign was her obsessive tendency to make puns, many of which were quite clever. Joyce reported that he, too, enjoyed the art of punning. “You are a deep-sea diver,” Jung replied. “She is drowning.” I’m going to apply a comparable distinction to you, Libra. These days you may sometimes worry that you’re in over your head in the bottomless abyss. But I’m here to tell you that in all the important ways, you’re like a deep-sea diver. (The Joyce-Jung story comes from Edward Hoagland’s Learning to Eat Soup.)

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
No false advertising this week, Scorpio. Don’t pretend to be a purebred if you’re actually a mutt, and don’t act like you know it all when you really don’t. For that matter, you shouldn’t portray yourself as an unambitious amateur if you’re actually an aggressive pro, and you should avoid giving the impression that you want very little when in fact you’re a burning churning throb of longing. I realize it may be tempting to believe that a bit of creative deceit would serve a holy cause, but it won’t. As much as you possibly can, make outer appearances reflect inner truths.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
In Christian lore, the serpent is the bad guy that’s the cause of all humanity’s problems. He coaxes Adam and Eve to disobey God, which gets them expelled from Paradise. But in Hindu and Buddhist mythology, there are snake gods that sometimes do good deeds and perform epic services. They’re called Nagas. In one Hindu myth, a Naga prince carries the world on his head. And in a Buddhist tale, the Naga king uses his seven heads to give the Buddha shelter from a storm just after the great one has achieved enlightenment. In regards to your immediate future, Sagittarius, I foresee you having a relationship to the serpent power that’s more like the Hindu and Buddhist version than the Christian. Expect vitality, fertility, and healing.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
In Lewis Carroll’s book Through the Looking Glass, the Red Queen tells Alice that she is an expert at believing in impossible things. She brags that there was one morning when she managed to embrace six improbable ideas before she even ate breakfast. I encourage you to experiment with this approach, Capricorn. Have fun entertaining all sorts of crazy notions and unruly fantasies. Please note that I am not urging you to actually put those beliefs into action. The point is to give your imagination a good workout.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
I’m not necessarily advising you to become best friends with the dark side of your psyche. I’m merely requesting that the two of you cultivate a more open connection. The fact of the matter is that if you can keep a dialogue going with this shadowy character, it’s far less likely to trip you up or kick your ass at inopportune moments. In time, you might even come to think of its chaos as being more invigorating than disorienting. You may regard it as a worthy adversary and even an interesting teacher.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
You need more magic in your life, Pisces. You’re suffering from a lack of sublimely irrational adventures and eccentrically miraculous epiphanies and inexplicably delightful interventions. At the same time, I think it’s important that the magic you attract into your life is not pure fluff. It needs some grit. It’s got to have a kick that keeps you honest. That’s why I suggest that you consider getting the process started by baking some unicorn poop cookies. They’re sparkly, enchanting, rainbow-colored sweets, but with an edge. Ingredients include sparkle gel, disco dust, star sprinkles — and a distinctly roguish attitude. Recipe is here: tinyurl.com/UnicornPoopCookies.

Homework: Forget about “less is more” for now. How are you going to apply the principle of “more is more”? Freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
Do you know what a controlled burn is? Firefighters start small, manageable fires on purpose so as to eradicate brush that has accumulated too close to wooded areas. With less fuel around, bigger fires are not as likely to ignite accidentally and turn into conflagrations. I encourage you to use this as a metaphor for your own life, Aries. How? First, identify a big potential problem that may be looming on the horizon. Then, in the coming weeks, get rid of all the small messes that might tend to feed that big problem. Make sure it’ll never happen.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
Jungian storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estes advises us to take good care of the untamed aspects of our nature. “The wild life must be kept ordered on a regular basis,” she writes. One way to do this is to keep our uncommon and unruly ideas clear and organized. It’s also important to give them respect, and understand that they’re crucial to our spiritual and psychological health. How are you doing in this regard, Taurus? What’s your relationship with the untamed aspects of your nature? According to my reading of the omens, now is prime time for you to honor and nurture and cultivate them.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
By my astrological reckoning, you’re not nearly wet enough right now. I recommend that you take immediate and intensive steps to remedy the situation. There should not be anything about you that is high and dry; you need to soak up the benefits that come from being slippery and dripping. If you’re suffering from even a hint of emotional dehydration, you should submerse yourself in the nearest pool of primal feelings. For extra credit, drink deeply from the sacred cup that never empties.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
In the 16th century, Holy Roman Emperor Charles V ruled over a vast swath of land that included 12 modern European nations. According to some historians, he once said, “I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.” This is the kind of attitude I recommend that you adopt in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Tailor your language to the people and creatures you’re speaking to. Address them on their own level of consciousness, respecting their limitations and appealing to their particular kind of intelligence. Of course, this is always a good policy, but it’s especially important for you to observe now. Fluency and flexibility will be rewarded in ways you can’t imagine.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
Would you like to enhance your relationship with money? If so, do you have any specific ideas about how to do it? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to identify and implement those ideas. Let me make an initial suggestion: Keep your magical thinking to a minimum, but don’t stamp it out entirely; a small amount of frisky fantasizing will actually boost the likelihood that your more practical intentions will achieve critical mass. Here’s another tip: Imagine the presents you’d get for people if you had some extra cash. Stimulating your generous urges may help motivate the universe to be generous to you.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
A guy I know was invited to hang one of his paintings in a New York gallery — on one condition. It had to be a piece he created on the spot, in the gallery, on the day the show opened. That would be way too much pressure for me to handle. I need to spend a long time on the stuff I make, whether it’s music or writing. I’ve got to fuss over every little detail as I constantly edit and refine and add layers. What about you, Virgo? Could you quickly come up with some new wrinkle or fresh creation that would show the world who you really are? I’m guessing we will soon find out.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
If you’ve been reading my horoscopes for a while, you know I’m not a decadent cynic who thinks “no pain,
no gain” is the supreme formula for success. On the contrary. I think it’s quite possible to enjoy tremendous growth spurts when you’re happy and healthy. Pleasurable events can be great learning experiences. Joy and freedom may activate potentials that would otherwise remain dormant. Having said that, I want to make a suggestion that may seem at odds with my usual approach, even though it’s not. For the next two weeks, I encourage you to explore the necessary power of decay. Harness the archetypes of breakdown and dissolution as you put an end to things whose time is up. This work is key to your future rejuvenation and renaissance.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
I’m going to ignore the Urban Dictionary’s more modern definitions of the word “yeast,” and stick to the original meaning: an agent of fermentation that brews alcoholic drinks and makes bread dough rise. Metaphorically speaking, Scorpio, you should be like that for your gang or crew or tribe. I urge you to stir up group morale. Provoke deeper thought and stronger feelings. Instigate some bubbly new trends and effervescent interactions. Be yeasty!

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Sussex is a county in southeast England. Its official motto is “We wunt be druv,” which is Sussex dialect for “We won’t be pushed around.” It’s not bad as mottoes go, I guess. There’s power in announcing to the world that you’re not going to allow anyone to manipulate you or bully you. But I’d like to see you come up with a more robust battle cry for yourself, Sagittarius — one that doesn’t focus on what you won’t do, but rather on what you will do. It’s an ideal astrological moment to articulate your driving purpose in a pithy formula that will give you strength whenever you invoke it.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
”Most people consider global warming somewhat of a mixed blessing,” wrote Aaron Sankin on Huffington Post. “On one hand, there’s ocean acidification, deserts gobbling up wide swaths of farmland and the massive die-off of the innumerable species unable to cope with the effects of the world’s rapidly rising temperature. But, on the other hand, you’ll be able to wear shorts for literally the entire year.” Sankin is being deeply sarcastic, of course. Let’s make his satire a jumping-off point as we consider some sincerely worthwhile trade-offs you might want to implement in your own sphere. Would you be willing to sacrifice a trivial comfort for a new privilege? Would you shed a small pleasure to gain a much bigger pleasure? Might you divest yourself of a pocket of resentment if in doing so you’d attract a cleansing epiphany?

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
I don’t expect your travels in the coming weeks to be like a smooth luxury cruise in a stretch limousine. Your route is not likely to be a straight shot through breathtaking scenery with expansive views. No, my dear Aquarius, your journeys will be more complicated than that, more snakey and labyrinthine. Some of the narrow passages and weedy detours you’ll need to navigate may not even resemble paths, let alone highways. And your metaphorical vehicle may resemble a funky old 1967 Chevy pickup truck or a forklift bedecked with flowers. It should be pretty fun, though. Keep in mind that your maps may only be partially useful.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
In medieval times, you didn’t need a priest to get married, nor did you have to be in a church or recite a set of vows. You didn’t even have to round up witnesses. All that was required was that the two people who wanted to be wed said, “I marry you” to each other. Those three words had great power! In the coming days, Pisces, I’d love to see you draw inspiration from that lost tradition. Your assignment is to dream up three potent declarations that, while not legally binding, express the deepest and most loving intentions you promise to be faithful to in the coming years.

Homework: What’s the single most important question you’d like to find an answer for in the next five years? Tell all: Freewillastrology.com

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at  1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
These days you have a knack for reclamation and redemption, Aries. If anyone can put fun into what’s dysfunctional, it’s you. You may even be able to infuse neurotic cluelessness with a dose of erotic playfulness. So be confident in your ability to perform real magic in tight spots. Be alert for opportunities to transform messy irrelevancy into sparkly intrigue. By the way, how do you feel about the term “resurrection”? I suggest you strip away any previous associations you might have had, and be open to the possibility that you can find new meanings for it.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
The game of tic-tac-toe is simple. Even young children can manage it. And yet there are 255,168 different ways for any single match to play out. The game of life has far more variables than tic-tac-toe, of course. I think that’ll be good for you to keep in mind in the coming weeks. You may be tempted to believe that each situation you’re dealing with can have only one or two possible outcomes, when in fact it probably has at least 255,168. Keep your options wide open. Brainstorm about unexpected possibilities.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
Let’s turn our attention to the word “mortar.” I propose that we use it to point out three influences you could benefit from calling on. Here are the definitions of “mortar”: 1. a kind of cannon; 2. the plaster employed for binding bricks together; 3. a bowl where healing herbs are ground into powder. Now please meditate, Gemini, on anything you could do that might: 1. deflect your adversaries; 2. cement new unions; 3. make a container — in other words, create a specific time and place — where you will work on a cure for your suffering.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
Nirvana’s song “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was a mega-hit that sold well and garnered critical acclaim. But it had a difficult birth. When the band’s leader, Kurt Cobain, first presented the raw tune to the band, bassist Krist Novoselic disliked it and called it “ridiculous.” Cobain pushed back, forcing Novoselic and drummer Dave Grohl to play it over and over again for an hour and a half. In the course of the ordeal, the early resistance dissolved. Novoselic and Grohl even added their own touches to the song’s riffs. I foresee a similar process for you in the coming week, Cancerian. Give a long listen to an unfamiliar idea that doesn’t grab you at first.


LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22):
One of history’s most notorious trials took place in Athens, Greece, in 399 BCE. A majority of 501 jurors convicted the philosopher Socrates of impiety and of being a bad influence on young people. What were the impious things he did? “Failing to acknowledge the gods that the city acknowledges” and “introducing new deities.” And so the great man was sentenced to death. This is a good reminder that just because many people believe something is true or valuable or important doesn’t mean it is. That’s especially crucial for you to keep in mind. You are in a phase when it might be wise and healthy to evade at least one popular trend. Groupthink is not your friend.


VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
With all the homework you’ve done lately, you’ve earned a lot of extra credit. So I’m thinking you’ll get a decent grade in your unofficial “crash course” even if you’re a bit sleepy during your final exam. But just in case, I’ll provide you with a mini-cheat sheet. Here are the right answers to five of the most challenging test questions. 1. People who never break anything will never learn how to make lasting creations. 2. A mirror is not just an excellent tool for self-defense, but also a tremendous asset in your quest for power over yourself. 3. The less you hide the truth, the smarter you’ll be. 4. The well-disciplined shall inherit the earth. 5. You often meet your destiny on the road you took to avoid it.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
The Hubble Space Telescope has taken 700,000 photos of deep space. Because it’s able to record details that are impossible to capture from the earth’s surface, it has dramatically enhanced astronomers’ understanding of stars and galaxies. This miraculous technology got off to a rough start, however. Soon after its launch, scientists realized that there was a major flaw in its main mirror. Fortunately, astronauts were eventually able to correct the problem in a series of complex repair jobs. It’s quite possible, Libra, that you will benefit from a Hubble-like augmentation of your vision in the next nine months. Right from the beginning, make sure there are no significant defects in the fundamentals of your big expansion.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
To some people, sweating is regarded as an indelicate act that should be avoided or hidden. But there are others for whom sweating is a sign of health and vigor. In Egyptian culture, for example, “How do you sweat?” is a common salutation. In the coming weeks, Scorpio, I encourage you to align yourself with the latter attitude. It won’t be a time to try to impress anyone with how cool and dignified you are. Rather, success is more likely to be yours if you’re not only eager to sweat but also willing to let people see you sweat. Exert yourself. Extend yourself. Show how much you care.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
”Whatever I take, I take too much or too little; I do not take the exact amount,” wrote poet Antonio Porchia. “The exact amount is no use to me.” I suggest you try adopting that bad-ass attitude in the coming days, Sagittarius. Be a bit contrarian, but with humor and style. Doing so would, I think, put you in sweet alignment with the impish nature of the vibes swirling in your vicinity. If you summon just the right amount of devil-may-care jauntiness, you’ll be likely to get the most out of the cosmic jokes that will unfold.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
What is the longest-running lie in your life? Maybe it’s a deception you’ve worked long and hard to hide. Maybe it’s a delusion you’ve insisted on believing in. Or perhaps it’s just a wish you keep thinking will come true one day even though there’s scant evidence it ever will. Whatever that big drain on your energy is, Capricorn, now would be a good time to try changing your relationship with it. I can’t say for sure that you’ll be able to completely transform it overnight. But if you marshal a strong intention, you will be able to get the process underway.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
You may have heard the theory that somewhere there is a special person who is your other half — the missing part of you. In D. H. Lawrence’s version of this fantasy, the two of you were a single angel that divided in two before you were born. Personally, I don’t buy it. The experiences of everyone I’ve ever known suggest there are many possible soulmates for each of us. So here’s my variation on the idea: Any good intimate relationship generates an “angel” — a spirit that the two partners create together. This is an excellent time for you to try out this hypothesis, Aquarius. As you interact with your closest ally, imagine that a third party is with you: your mutual angel.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
In the coming weeks, you’ll be wise to shed your emotional baggage and purge your useless worries and liberate yourself from your attachments to the old days and the old ways. In other words, clear out a lot of free, fresh space. And when you’re finished doing that, Pisces, don’t hide away in a dark corner feeling vulnerable and sensitive and stripped bare. Rather, situate yourself in the middle of a fertile hub and prepare to consort with new playmates, unexpected adventures and interesting blessings. One of my readers, Reya Mellicker, sums up the right approach: “Be empty, not like the bowl put away in the cupboard, but like the bowl on the counter, cereal box above, waiting to receive.”

Homework: Is there a belief you know you should live without, but have not yet gotten the courage to banish? FreeWillAstrology.com

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at  1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
Apollo astronaut Russell Schweickart had a vision of loveliness while flying through outer space in his lunar module. “One of the most beautiful sights is a urine dump at sunset,” he testified. He said it resembles a “spray of sparklers,” as ten million little ice crystals shoot out into the void at high velocity. As you feed your quest for a lusty life, Aries, I urge you to be as quirky and resourceful as Schweickart. Come up with your own definitions about what’s gorgeous and revelatory. Take epiphanies any way you can get them.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
At the heart of this horoscope is a quote from Maya Angelou. While it may seem schmaltzy, I assure you that its counsel will be essential to your success in the coming weeks. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,” said Angelou, “people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Can you see how valuable this principle might be for you, Taurus? If you hope to get what you desire, you should turn your empathy on full blast. If you’d like to supercharge your vitality, hone your skills as a judge of character. If you want to get the love you think you deserve, be a master at making people feel good in your presence.


GEMINI

(May 21-June 20):
The coming week will be prime time to celebrate your eccentricities and cultivate your idiosyncrasies. Do you like ketchup on your bananas? Is heavy metal the music you can best relax to? Do you have a tendency to break out in raucous laughter when people brag about themselves? I really think you should make note of all the qualities that make you odd or unique, and express those qualities with extra intensity. That may grate on some people, true, but it should have a potent healing effect on you.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
Here are my questions: Will you thrust your foot across that imaginary line, or will you back away from it, scouting around for an escape route? Will you risk causing a commotion in order to scratch the itch in your ambition? Or will you shuffle on back to your comfort zone and caress your perfect daydreams? Personally, Cancerian, I’m hoping you will elect to do what’s a bit unsettling. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you should. If you make a bold move, make sure you’re not angling to please or impress me — or anyone else, for that matter. Do it as a way to express your respect for yourself — or don’t do it.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
When Tchaikovsky wrote the musical score for his famous 1812 Overture, it included 16 cannon shots. Literally. These blasts weren’t supposed to be made by, say, a sledgehammer pounded against a wooden mallet, but rather by the detonation of an actual cannon. As crazy as that is, you’ve got to admire Tchaikovsky’s creative gall. He was going way out of the box, calling on a source of sound no other composer had ever used. In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to be inspired by his example, Leo. In your own chosen field, mess with the rules about how to play in your chosen field.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
”And if nothing is repeated in the same way,” says poet Antonio Porchia, “all things are last things.” That’s a good principle to adapt for your own purposes, Virgo. A few weeks from now, I bet you’ll be enmeshed in an orgy of novelty, creating yourself from scratch and exploring experiences you’ve never heard of before. But in the meantime, as you bring this cycle to a close, be equally inventive about how you finish things off. Don’t imitate the approach you used in tying up loose ends in the past. Don’t put stale, boring karma to rest in stale, boring ways. Nothing repeated! All things last things!

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
All of us feel bad sometimes — sad, discouraged, helpless, unloved and all the rest. It’s a natural part of being human. Here’s the good news: I am not predicting you will go through a phase like that anytime soon. Here’s the even better news: The coming week will be an excellent time to come up with effective strategies for what to do in the future when you go through a rough period. For example, instead of wallowing in self-pity or berating yourself for your weakness, maybe you can resolve, next time, to amble aimlessly out in nature, dance to cathartic music for three hours, or go to the gym and smack around a punching bag.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
When a domesticated weasel captures some treasure or beats out a competitor for food, it performs a celebratory dance that’s referred to as the “weasel war dance.” During this triumphant display, it might hiss, arch its back, fluff out its tail, and hop around madly. I encourage you to come up with your own private version of this ritual, Scorpio. It can be more dignified if you like: snapping your fingers, singing a magical phrase, or raising your arms in a V-for-victory gesture. Whatever you choose, do it after every accomplishment, no matter how small: buying groceries, arriving at an appointment on time, getting a good new idea, or any other success.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
One out of every four of us is afraid that we have missed our calling — that we have misread our soul’s code and failed to identify the labor of love that would provide our ultimate fuel for living. If you’re among this deprived group, I have good news: The next six weeks will be an excellent time to fix the problem — to leave the niche where you don’t belong and go off to create a new power spot. And if you are among the 75 percent of us who are confident we’ve found our vocations, the next six weeks will be prime time to boost your efforts to a higher level.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
You can take this as a metaphor if you like, but I’m getting a psychic impression that you will soon be drawing on the energy of one of your past lives. Will it be a 13th-century Chinese lute player or a kitchen maid from 15th-century France? Will you be high on the vitality you had when you were a Yoruba priest living in West Africa 300 years ago or when you were a 16th-century Guarani herbalist in what’s now Paraguay? I invite you to play with fantasies like these, even if you don’t believe they’re literally true. You might be surprised at the boost you get from imagining yourself alive in a different body and historical era.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
The Italian mattress company Sogniflex has created a bed with features designed to facilitate love-making. It has straps and handles, plus a trench that helps you get better traction. The extra-strong springs produce an exceptional bouncing action. You might consider buying one for yourself. The astrological omens suggest it’s time to play with more intensity in the intimate clinches. You could also try these things: 1. Upgrade your licking and sucking skills. 2. Cultivate your ability to listen receptively. 3. Deepen your sincere appreciation for what’s beautiful about anyone you’re attracted to. 4. Make yourself even more lovable than you already are.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
My $10-an-hour counsel only requires a few seconds to deliver. Here it is: “Never try to be someone you’re not. Discover what you were made for, and do it with all of your passionate intensity.” On the other hand, Pisces, my $100-a-minute wisdom is more complicated, subtle and hard to impart in less than an hour of storytelling. Here’s a hint of it: There are times when you can get interesting and even brilliant results by experimenting with being something you’re not. Going against the flow of your instinctual urges and customary tendencies might tweak you in just the right way — giving you an exotic grace and wild depth when you ultimately return to the path you were born to tread.

Homework: If you could change your astrological sign, what would you change it to and why? Write: FreeWillAstrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at  1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
The astrological omens suggest that you now have a lot in common with the legendary Most Interesting Man in the World — adventurous, unpredictable, interesting, lucky, one-of-a-kind. To create your horoscope, I have therefore borrowed a few selected details from his ad campaign’s descriptions of him. Here we go: In the coming weeks, you will be the life of parties you don’t even attend. Astronauts will be able to see your charisma from outer space. Up to one-third of your body weight will be gravitas. Your cell phone will always have good reception, even in a subway 100 feet underground. Panhandlers will give you money. You could challenge your reflection to a staring contest — and win. You’ll be able to keep one eye on the past while looking into the future. When you sneeze, God will say, “God bless you.”

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
Psychologist Bruno Bettelheim said the dreams we have at night are “the result of inner pressures which have found no relief, of problems which beset a person to which he knows no solution and to which the dream finds none.” That sounds bleak, doesn’t it? If it’s true, why even bother to remember our dreams? Well, because we are often not consciously aware of the feelings they reveal to us. By portraying our buried psychic material in story form, dreams give us insight into what we’ve been missing. So even though they may not provide a solution, they educate us. Take heed, Taurus! Your upcoming dreams will provide useful information you can use to fix one of your long-standing dilemmas.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
When French composer Georges Auric scored the soundtrack for Jean Cocteau’s movie The Blood of a Poet, he produced “love music for love scenes, game music for game scenes, and funeral music for funeral scenes.” But Cocteau himself had a different idea about how to use Auric’s work. For the love scenes he decided to use the funeral music; for the game scenes, the love music; and for the funeral scenes, the game music. In accordance with the current astrological omens, Gemini, I recommend that you experiment with that style of mixing and matching. Have fun!  (Source: A Ned Rorem Reader, by Ned Rorem.)

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
”Piglet was so excited at the idea of being useful that he forgot to be frightened any more,” wrote A. A. Milne in his kids’ book Winnie-the-Pooh. That’s my prescription for how to evade the worrisome fantasies that are nipping at you, Cancerian. If no one has invited you to do some engaging and important labor of love, invite yourself. You need to be needed — even more than usual. P.S. Here’s what Rumi advises: “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder.”

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
You’ve been making pretty good progress in the School of Life. By my estimates, you’re now the equivalent of a sophomore. You’ve mastered enough lessons so that you can no longer be considered a freshman, and yet you’ve got a lot more to learn. Are you familiar with the etymology of the word “sophomore”? It comes from two Greek words meaning “wise” and “fool.” That’ll be a healthy way to think about yourself in the coming weeks. Be smart enough to know what you don’t know. Cultivate the voracious curiosity necessary to lead you to the next rich teachings.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
A few years ago, a Malaysian man named Lim Boon Hwa arranged to have himself “cooked.” For 30 minutes, he sat on a board covering a pan full of simmering dumplings and corn. The fact that no harm came to him was proof, he said, that Taoist devotees like him are protected by their religion’s deities. I advise you not to try a stunt like that, Virgo — including metaphorical versions. This is no time to stew in your own juices. Or boil in your tormented fantasies. Or broil in your nagging doubts. Or be grilled in your self-accusations. You need to be free from the parts of your mind that try to cook you.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
On a spring day in 1973, an engineer named Martin Cooper debuted the world’s first cell phone. He placed a call as he walked along a New York City street. The phone weighed two and half pounds and resembled a brick. Later, he joked that no one would be able to talk very long on his invention, since it took a lot of strength to hold it against one’s ear. Think of how far that amazing device has come since then, Libra. Now imagine some important aspect of your own life that is in a rather primitive state at this moment but could one day be as natural and fully developed as cell phones have become. Are you willing to work hard to make that happen? Now’s a good time to intensify your commitment.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
In the coming week, you will lose some clout and self-command if you’re too hungry for power. Likewise, if you act too brazenly intelligent, you may alienate potential helpers who are not as mentally well-endowed as you. One other warning, Scorpio: Don’t be so fiercely reasonable that you miss the emotional richness that’s available. In saying these things, I don’t mean to sound as if I’m advising you to dumb yourself down and downplay your strengths. Not at all. Rather, I’m trying to let you know that the best way to get what you really need is to tailor your self-expression to the unique circumstances you find yourself in.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
For a while, French writer Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) was very poor. He lived in a place that had no heat and almost no furniture. To enhance his environment, he resorted to the use of fantasy. On one of his bare walls, he wrote the words, “rosewood paneling with ornamental cabinet.” On another, he wrote “Gobelin tapestry with Venetian mirror.” Over the empty fireplace he declared, “picture by Raphael.” That’s the level of imaginative power I encourage you to summon in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. So much of what you’ll need will come from that simple magic.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
It’s an excellent time to overthrow false gods and topple small-minded authorities and expose fraudulent claims. Anyone and anything in your environment that do not fully deserve the power they claim should get the brunt of your exuberant skepticism. When you’re done cleaning up those messes, turn your attention to your own inner realms. There might be some good work to be done there. Can you think of any hypocrisy that needs fixing? Any excessive self-importance that could use some tamping down? Any pretending that would benefit from a counter-dose of authenticity?

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
In old China, people used to cool themselves by sipping hot drinks. After taking a bath, they buffed the excess water from their skin by using a wet towel. When greeting a friend, they shook their own hand instead of the friend’s. To erect a new house, they built the roof first. You’re currently in a phase of your astrological cycle when this kind of behavior makes sense. In fact, I suspect you’re most likely to have a successful week if you’re ready to reverse your usual way of doing things on a regular basis.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
I’m really tired of you not getting all of the appreciation and acknowledgment and rewards you deserve. Is there even a small possibility that you might be harboring some resistance to that good stuff? Could you be giving off a vibe that subtly influences people to withhold the full blessings they might otherwise confer upon you? According to my analysis of the astrological omens, the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to work on correcting this problem. Do everything you can to make it easy for people to offer you their love and gifts.

Homework: Send news of your favorite mystery — an enigma that is both maddening and delightful. Freewillastrology.com

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

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UPCOMING COMMUNITY EVENTS

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