Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
Wageni ni baraka is a Swahili proverb that means “guests are a blessing.” That’s not always true, of course. Sometimes guests can be a boring inconvenience or a messy burden. But for you in the coming weeks, Aries, I’m guessing the proverb will be 98 percent correct. The souls who come calling are likely to bestow unusually fine benefits. They may provide useful clues or missing links you’ve been searching for. They might inspire you to see things about yourself that you really need to know, and they might even give you shiny new playthings. Open your mind and heart to the unexpected blessings.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
”I feel my fate in what I cannot fear,” said Theodore Roethke in his poem “The Waking.” I invite you to try out that perspective, Taurus. In other words, learn more about your destiny by doing what makes you feel brave. Head in the direction of adventures that clear your mind of its clutter and mobilize your gutsy brilliance. Put your trust in dreams that inspire you to sweep aside distracting worries.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
It’s the First Annual Blemish Appreciation Week — for Geminis only. One of the best ways to observe this holiday is not just to tolerate the flaws and foibles of other people, but also to understand them and forgive them. Another excellent way to celebrate is to do the same for your own flaws and foibles: Applaud them for the interesting trouble they’ve caused and the rousing lessons they’ve taught. I may be joking a little about this, but I’m mostly serious. Be creative and uninhibited as you have fun with the human imperfections that normally drive you crazy.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
When I turn my psychic vision in your direction, I see scenes of heavy rain and rising water, maybe even a flood. I’m pretty sure this has a metaphorical rather than literal significance. It probably means you will be inundated with more feelings than you’ve experienced in a while. Not bad or out-of-control feelings; just deep and enigmatic and brimming with nuance. How to respond? First, announce to the universe that you will be glad and grateful to accept this deluge. Second, go with the flow, not against it. Third, promise yourself not to come to premature conclusions about the meaning of these feelings; let them evolve.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
”I want to know more about you” may be the most potent sentence you can utter in the coming week. If spoken with sincere curiosity, it will awaken dormant synergies. It will disarm people who might otherwise become adversaries. It will make you smarter and work as a magic spell that gives you access to useful information you wouldn’t be able to crack open with any other method. To begin the process of imbuing your subconscious mind with its incantatory power, say, “I want to know more about you” aloud 10 times right now.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
My hotel was nice but the neighborhood where it was located seemed sketchy. As I returned to my room after a jaunt to the convenience store, I received inquiries from two colorfully dressed hookers whose sales pitches were enticingly lyrical. I also passed a lively man who proposed that I purchase some of his top-grade meth, crack or heroin. I thanked them all for their thoughtful invitations but said I wasn’t in the mood. Then I slipped back into my hotel room to dine on my strawberry smoothie and blueberry muffin as I watched HBO. My experience could have something in common with your immediate future, Virgo. I suspect you may be tempted with offers that seem exotic and adventurous but are not really that good for you. Stick to the healthy basics, please.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
A West Coast DJ named Shakti Bliss wrote a remarkable status update on her Facebook page. Here’s an edited excerpt: “In the past 24 hours, I did yoga in a bathtub, hauled furniture by myself in the rain, got expert dating advice from an 11-year-old, learned the Lindy hop, saw a rainbow over the ocean, had thrift store clothes stolen out of my car by a homeless man, made a magic protection amulet out of a piece of cardboard, was fed quinoa soup by the buffest 50-year-old South African woman I’ve ever met, bowed to a room full of applause, and watched two of my favorite men slow dance together to Josephine Baker singing in French.” I suspect that you Libras will be having days like that in the coming week: packed with poetic adventures. Are you ready to handle more than the usual amount of stimulation and excitement?

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Thomas Jefferson, third President of the United States, called himself a Christian. But he also acknowledged that there weren’t any other Christians like him. He said he belonged to a sect consisting of one person — himself. While he admired the teachings of Jesus Christ, he had no use for the supernatural aspects of the stories told in the New Testament. So he created his own version of the Bible, using only those parts he agreed with. Now would be an excellent time for you to be inspired by Jefferson’s approach, Scorpio. Is there a set of ideas that appeals to you in some ways but not in others? Tailor it to your own special needs. Make it your own. Become a sect of one.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
”Everyone is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day,” said writer Elbert Hubbard. “Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.” Judging from my personal experience, I’d say that five minutes is a lowball figure. My own daily rate is rarely less than half an hour. But the good news as far as you’re concerned, Sagittarius, is that in the coming weeks you might have many days when you’re not a damn fool for even five seconds. In fact, you may break your all-time records for levels of wild, pure wisdom. Make constructive use of your enhanced intelligence!

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
”Most humans have an absolute and infinite capacity for taking things for granted,” said Aldous Huxley. If that’s true, Capricorn, it’s important that you NOT act like a normal human in the next few weeks. Taking things for granted would be a laziness you can’t afford to indulge. In fact, I think you should renew your passion for and commitment to all your familiar pleasures and fundamental supports. Are you fully aware of the everyday miracles that allow you to thrive? Express your appreciation for the sources that nourish you so reliably.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Poet Jacob Nibengenesabe was a member of the Swampy Cree, a First Nation tribe in Canada. He wrote shamanic poems from the point of view of a magical trickster who could change himself into various creatures. In one poem, the shapeshifter talked about how important it is to be definite about what he wanted. “There was a storm once,” he said. “That’s when I wished myself / to be a turtle / but I meant on land! / The one that carries a hard tent / on his back. / I didn’t want to be floating!” By the end of the poem, the shapeshifter concluded, “I’ve got to wish things exactly! / That’s the way it is / from now on.” I hope that will be the way it is from now on for you, too, Aquarius. Visualize your desires in intricate, exact detail. For example, if you want to be a bird for a while, specify what kind.


PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20):
As you sleep, you have at least a thousand dreams every year. But if you’re typical, you may recall only a few of them. Doesn’t that bother you? To be so ignorant of the stories your subconscious mind works so hard to craft? To be out of touch with what the Iroquois call “the secret wishes of your soul”? Now is an excellent time to develop a stronger relationship with your dreams, Pisces. It’s high time to explore the deeper strata of your life’s big mysteries.

Homework: Talk about how you infused your spiritual path with eros and humor. Go to Freewillastrology.com; click on “Email Rob.”

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at  1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
The German government sponsored a scientific study of dowsing, which is a form of magical divination used to locate underground sources of water. After 10 years, the chief researcher testified, “It absolutely works, beyond all doubt. But we have no idea why or how.” An assertion like that might also apply to the mojo you’ll have at your disposal, Aries, as you forge new alliances and bolster your web of connections in the coming weeks. I don’t know how or why you’ll be such an effective networker, but you will be.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
The United States Congress spends an inordinate amount of time on trivial matters. For example, 16 percent of all the laws it passed in the last two years were devoted to renaming post offices. That’s down from the average of the previous eight years, during which time almost 20 percent of its laws had the sole purpose of renaming post offices. In my astrological opinion, you Tauruses can’t afford to indulge in anything close to that level of nonsense during the next four weeks. I urge you to keep time-wasting activities down to less than 5 percent of your total. Focus on getting a lot of important stuff done. Be extra-thoughtful and -responsible as you craft the impact you’re having on the world.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
What if your unconscious mind has dreamed up sparkling answers to your raging questions but your conscious mind doesn’t know about them yet? Is it possible you are not taking advantage of the sly wisdom that your deeper intelligence has been cooking up? I say it’s time to poke around down there. It’s time to take aggressive measures as you try to smoke out the revelations that your secret self has prepared for you. How? Remember your dreams, of course. Notice hunches that arise out of nowhere. And send a friendly greeting to your unconscious mind, something like, “I adore you and I’m receptive to you and I’d love to hear what you have to tell me.”

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
In his book Our Band Could Be Your Life, Michael Azerrad says that the Cancerian singer-songwriter Steve Albini is a “connoisseur of intensity.” That means he’s picky about what he regards as intense. Even the two kinds of music that are often thought of as the embodiment of ferocious emotion don’t make the grade for Albini. Heavy metal is comical, he says, not intense. Hardcore punk is childish, not intense. What’s your definition of intensity, Cancerian? I see the coming weeks as prime time for you to commune with the very best expressions of that state of being. Be a connoisseur of intensity.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
There’s a butterfly sanctuary at the Como Park Zoo and Conservatory in Saint Paul, Minn. It’s called the Enchanted Garden. As you enter, you see a sign that reads, “Please do not touch the butterflies. Let the butterflies touch you.” In other words, you shouldn’t initiate contact with the delicate creatures. You shouldn’t pursue them or try to capture them. Instead, make yourself available for them to land on you. Allow them to decide how and when your connection will begin to unfold. In the coming week, Leo, I suggest you adopt a similar approach to any beauty you’d like to know better.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Do you ever fantasize about a more perfect version of yourself? Is there, in your imagination, an idealized image of who you might become in the future? That can be a good thing if it motivates you to improve and grow. But it might also lead you to devalue the flawed but beautiful creation you are right now. It may harm your capacity for self-acceptance. Your assignment in the coming week is to temporarily forget about whom you might evolve into at some later date, and instead just love your crazy, mysterious life exactly as it is.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Novelist Jeffrey Eugenides says he doesn’t have generic emotions that can be described with one word. “Sadness,” “joy” and “regret” don’t happen to him. Instead, he prefers “complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions” like “the disappointment of sleeping with one’s fantasy” or “the excitement of getting a hotel room with a minibar.” He delights in sensing “intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members” and “sadness inspired by failing restaurants.” In the coming days, Libra, I think you should specialize in one-of-a-kind feelings like these. Milk the nuances! Exult in the peculiarities! Celebrate the fact that each new wave of passion has never before arisen in quite the same form.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
You know that area on your back that you can’t quite reach if you want to scratch it? It’s called your acnestis. I propose that we make it your featured metaphor of the week. Why? Because I suspect you will have to deal with a couple of itchy situations that are just beyond your ability to relieve. Yes, this may be frustrating in the short run. But it will ultimately make you even more resourceful than you already are. By this time next week, you will have figured out alternative solutions that you haven’t even imagined yet.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
My general philosophy is that everyone on the planet, including me, is a jerk now and then. In fact, I’m suspicious of those who are apparently so unfailingly well-behaved that they NEVER act like jerks. On the other hand, some people are jerks far too much of the time, and should be avoided. Here’s my rule of thumb: How sizable is each person’s Jerk Quotient? If it’s below 6 percent, I’ll probably give him or her a chance to be a presence in my life — especially if the person is smart and interesting. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, this gauge may be useful for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
The French painter Cézanne painted images of a lot of fruit in the course of his career. He liked to take his sweet time while engaged in his work. The apples and pears and peaches that served as his models often rotted before he was done capturing their likenesses. That’s the kind of approach I recommend for you in the coming days, Capricorn. Be very deliberate and gradual and leisurely in whatever labor of love you devote yourself to. No rushing allowed! With conscientious tenderness, exult in attending to every last detail of the process.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
”Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.” So said the eccentric, outspoken and hard-partying actress Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968). Can you guess her astrological sign? Aquarius, of course. Her greatest adventure came from trying to keep up with all the unpredictable urges that welled up inside her. She found it challenging and fun to be as unique as she could possibly be. I nominate her to be your role model in the next four weeks. Your assignment is to work extra-hard at being yourself.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
The Dardanelles Strait is a channel that connects the Black Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, separating Europe from Asia. In some places it’s less than a mile wide. But the currents are fierce, so if you try to swim across at those narrow points, you’re pushed around and end up having to travel five or six miles. In light of the current astrological omens, I’m predicting that you will have a comparable challenge in the coming days, Pisces. The task may seem easier or faster than it actually is. Plan accordingly.

Homework: What’s the best, most healing trouble you could whip up right now? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
”If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it,” wrote nineteenth-century poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. “Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of the earth.” This is good counsel for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks, Aries. I suspect you will have a good, clear shot at a target you’ve been trying to get close to for a long time. Make sure you adjust your trajectory to account for the attraction of the earth.


TAURUS

(April 20-May 20):
If you learn a novel idea or a crucial new lesson while you are tipsy or outright blitzed, you will probably forget it when you sober up. And it will remain forgotten as long as you abstain. But there’s a good chance you will recall the vanished information the next time you get loopy. I’m telling you this, Taurus, because even if you haven’t been inebriated lately, you have definitely been in an altered and expanded state of consciousness. I’m afraid that when you come back down to earth in a few days, you might lose some of the luminous insights you’ve been adding to your repertoire. Is there anything you can do to ensure you will retain these treasures? It would be a shame to lose track of them until the next time your mind gets thoroughly blown open.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
Studying the movements of the planets is my main way of discerning the hidden currents of fate. I sometimes supplement my investigations by reading Tarot cards and the Chinese “Book of Changes,” also known as the I Ching. To arrive at your horoscope this week, I used all of the above as well as the following forms of prognostication: catoptromancy, which is divination by gazing into a mirror underwater; cyclomancy, or divination by watching a wheel that’s turning; geloscopy, divination by listening to random laughter; and margaritomancy, divination by observing bouncing pearls. Here’s what I found, Gemini: You now have the power to discern previously unfathomable patterns in a puzzling mystery you’ve been monitoring. You also have the ability to correctly surmise the covert agendas of allies and adversaries alike. Maybe best of all, you can discover certain secrets you’ve been concealing from yourself.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
”To be reborn is a constantly recurring human need,” said drama critic Henry Hewes. I agree. We all need to periodically reinvent ourselves — to allow the old ways to die so that we can resurrect ourselves in unforeseen new forms. According to my analysis, Cancerian, your next scheduled rebirth is drawing near. For best results, don’t cling to the past; don’t imitate what has always worked before. Instead, have faith that surrendering to the future will bring you the exact transformation you need.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
My readers Paul and Sophie wrote to let me know they have patched together three Latin words to invent a term for a new concept: vomfiabone. They say it means “a curse that becomes a blessing.” Here’s an example of the phenomenon at work in their lives: While driving home from work together, they experienced car trouble and had to pull over to the shoulder of the road, where they called a tow truck. Later, they discovered that this annoying delay prevented them from getting caught in the middle of an accident just up ahead. Extrapolating from the current astrological omens, I’m guessing that you will experience at least one vomfiabone in the coming week, Leo.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
I bet that in the next five months you will be obliged to carry more responsibility than you have in the past. You will find it hard to get away with being lazy or careless. I suspect that during this time you will also have the privilege of wielding more influence. The effect you have on people will be more pronounced and enduring. In short, Virgo, your workload will be greater than usual — and so will your rewards. To the degree that you serve the greater good, you will be a major player. As for the next few weeks, you should concentrate on the work and service and responsibility part of this equation.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Do you know what a “binky” is? It’s what a rabbit does when it gets so crazily happy that it exuberantly leaps up into the air, stretching and twisting its body as it flicks and flops its feet. I’m not sure if lexicographers would allow us to apply this term to humans. But assuming they might, I’m going to predict that you’ll soon be having some binky-inducing experiences. You’re entering the Joy and Pleasure Season, Libra — a time when abundant levels of fun and well-being might be quite normal.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
You know that area on your back that you can’t quite reach if you want to scratch it? It’s called your acnestis. I propose that we make it your featured metaphor of the week. Why? Because I suspect you will have to deal with a couple of itchy situations that are just beyond your ability to relieve. Yes, this may be frustrating in the short run. But it will ultimately make you even more resourceful than you already are. By this time next week, you will have figured out alternative solutions that you haven’t even imagined yet.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
”We need new friends,” said essayist Logan Pearsall Smith. “Some of us are cannibals who have eaten their old friends up; others must have ever-renewed audiences before whom to re-enact an ideal version of their lives.” Smith could have been talking about you Sagittarians in early 2013. According to my interpretation of the astrological omens, you need some fresh alliances. Their influence will activate certain potentials that you haven’t been able to access or fully express with the help of your current circle.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
A San Francisco writer named Maneesh Sethi decided he was wasting too much time on the Internet. His productivity was suffering. So he hired a woman to sit next to him as he worked and yell at him or slap his face every time his attention wandered off in the direction of Facebook or a funny video. It worked. He got a lot more done. While I would like to see you try some inventive approaches to pumping up your own efficiency, Capricorn, I don’t necessarily endorse Sethi’s rather gimmicky technique. Start brainstorming about some interesting yet practical new ways to enhance your self-discipline, please.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
”Ronnyjohnson618” is a guy who posts his opinions on a wide variety of YouTube videos. Many times, he claims to be an expert in the field he’s commenting on. Responding to a live music performance, he says he’s a conductor for an orchestra. Offering his opinion about a mimosa plant, he asserts that he is a botanist. Beneath other YouTube videos, he declares he is a meteorologist, chemist, psychologist, soldier and geometry teacher. I love this guy’s blithe swagger; I’m entertained by the brazen fun he’s having. As you express yourself in the coming week, I recommend that you borrow some of his over-the-top audacity. Create a mythic persona. Imagine your life as an epic story. Play the part of a hero.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
The earliest performance artist on record was the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes of Sinope. In one of his notorious stunts, he wandered around Athens with a lit lantern during the daytime, claiming to be looking for an authentic human being. I recommend that you undertake a similar search in the coming days, Pisces. You don’t have to be as theatrical about it. In fact, it might be better to be quite discreet. But I think it’s important for you to locate and interact with people who are living their lives to the fullest — devoted to their brightest dreams, committed to their highest values, and sworn to express their highest integrity.

Homework: Imagine that, thanks to scientific breakthroughs, healthy habits and good luck, you’re still alive in 2090. What’s your life like? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES (March 21-April 19):
Writing at io9.com, Charlie Jane Anders provides “10 Signs You Could Be the Chosen Savior.” Among the clues are the following: 1. “How often does someone come up to you on the street, point at you, gibber something inarticulate, and run away?” 2. “How many robot/clone duplicates of yourself have you come across?” 3. “Is there a blurry black-and-white photo or drawing from history that sort of looks like you?” 4. “Have you achieved weird feats that nobody could explain, but which nobody else witnessed?” Now would be a good time for you to take this test, Aries. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when your dormant superpowers may finally be awakening — a time when you might need to finally claim a role you’ve previously been unready for. (Read Anders’ article here: http://tinyurl.com/AreYouChosen.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
”Dear Rob the Astrologer: I have a big question for you. If I could get access to a time machine, where would you suggest I should go? Is there a way to calculate the time and place where I could enjoy favorable astrological connections that would bring out the best in me? — Curious Taurus.” Dear Curious: Here are some locations that might be a good fit for you Tauruses right now: Athens, Greece, in 459 B.C.; Constantinople in 1179; Florence, Italy, in 1489; New York in 2037. In general, you would thrive wherever there are lots of bright people co-creating a lively culture that offers maximum stimulation. You need to have your certainties challenged and your mind expanded and your sense of wonder piqued.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
Will archaeologists find definitive evidence of the magical lost continent of Atlantis in 2013? Probably not. How about Shambhala, the mythical kingdom in Central Asia where the planet’s greatest spiritual masters are said to live? Any chance it will be discovered by Indiana Jones-style fortune hunters? Again, not likely. But I do think there’s a decent chance that sometime in the next seven months, many of you Geminis will discover places, situations and circumstances that will be, for all intents and purposes, magical and mythical.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):
There’s a spot in the country of Panama where you can watch the sun rise in the east over the Pacific Ocean. In another Panamanian location, you can see the sun set in the west over the Atlantic Ocean. Nothing weird is involved. Nothing twisted or unearthly. It’s simply a quirk of geography. I suspect that a similar situation will be at work in your life sometime soon. Things may seem out of place. Your sense of direction might be off-kilter, and even your intuition could seem to be playing tricks on you. But don’t worry. Have no fear. Life is simply asking you to expand your understanding of what “natural” and “normal” are.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
Metaphorically speaking, a pebble was in your shoe the whole past week. You kept thinking, “Pretty soon I’ve got to take a minute to get rid of that thing,” and yet you never did. Why is that? While it wasn’t enormously painful, it distracted you just enough to keep you from giving your undivided attention to the important tasks at hand. Now here’s a news flash: The damn pebble is still in your shoe. Can I persuade you to remove it? Please?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Even when you know exactly what you want, it’s sometimes crucial for you not to accomplish it too fast. It may be that you need to mature more before you’re ready to handle your success. It could be that if you got all of your heart’s desire too quickly and easily, you wouldn’t develop the vigorous willpower that the quest was meant to help you forge. The importance of good timing can’t be underestimated, either: In order for you to take full advantage of your dream-come-true, many other factors in your life have to be in place and arranged just so. With those thoughts in mind, Virgo, I offer you this prediction for 2013: A benevolent version of a perfect storm is headed your way.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Artists who painted images in caves 30,000 years ago did a pretty good job of depicting the movements of four-legged animals like horses. In fact, they were more skilled than today’s artists. Even the modern experts who illustrate animal anatomy textbooks don’t match the accuracy of the people who decorated cave walls millennia ago. So says a study reported in Livescience.com (http://tinyurl.com/CaveArtMagic). I’d like to suggest this is a useful metaphor for you to consider, Libra. There’s some important task that the old you did better than the new you does. Now would be an excellent time to recapture the lost magic.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
After evaluating your astrological omens for the coming months, I’ve decided to name you Scorpios the “Top Sinners of the Year” for 2013. What that means is that I suspect your vices will be more inventive and more charming than those of all the other signs. Your so-called violations may have the effect of healing some debilitating habit. In fact, your “sins” may not be immoral or wicked at all. They might actually be beautiful transgressions that creatively transcend the status quo; they might be imaginative improvements on the half-assed way that things have always been done. To ensure you’re always being ethical in your outlaw behavior, be committed to serving the greater good at least as much as your own selfish interests.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Here’s the horoscope I hope to be able to write for you a year from now: “Your mind just kept opening further and further during these past 12 months, Sagittarius — way beyond what I ever imagined possible. Congrats! Even as you made yourself more innocent and receptive than you’ve been in a long time, you were constantly getting smarter and sharpening your ability to see the raw truth of what was unfolding. Illusions and misleading fantasies did not appeal to you. Again, kudos!”.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
What does it mean when the dwarf planet Pluto impacts a key point in your horoscope? For Capricorn gymnast Gabby Douglas, it seemed to be profoundly empowering. During the time Pluto was close to her natal sun during last year’s Summer Olympics, she won two gold medals, one with her team and one by herself. Luck had very little to do with her triumph. Hard work, self-discipline and persistence were key factors. I’m predicting that Pluto’s long cruise through the sign of Capricorn will give you an opportunity to earn a Gabby Douglas-like achievement in your own sphere — if, that is, you can summon the same level of willpower and determination that she did. Now would be an excellent time to formally commit yourself to the glorious cause that excites you the most.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
”Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock,” said humorist Will Rogers. I hope you’ve been taking care of the “nice doggie” part, Aquarius — holding the adversarial forces and questionable influences at bay. As for the rock: I predict you will find it any minute now, perhaps even within an hour of reading this horoscope. Please keep in mind that you won’t necessarily have to throw the rock for it to serve its purpose. Merely brandishing it should be enough.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Do you know the word “cahoots”? Strictly speaking, it means to be in league with allies who have the same intentions as you do, to scheme and dream with confederates whose interests overlap with yours. Let’s expand that definition a little further and make it one of your central themes in the coming week. For your purposes, “cahoots” will signify the following: to conspire with like-minded companions as you cook up some healthy mischief or whip up an interesting commotion or instigate a benevolent ruckus.

Homework: To check out my three-part audio forecasts of your destiny in 2013, go to http://tinyurl.com/BigPicture2013.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
In 2013, I pledge to conspire with you to increase your mastery of the art of friendship. Together we will concentrate on making you an even stronger ally than you already are. We will upgrade your skill at expressing your feelings with open-hearted clarity, and in ways that don’t make people defensive. We will also inspire you to help others communicate effectively in your presence. I hope you understand that doing this work will empower you to accomplish feats that were never before possible for you.


TAURUS

(April 20-May 20):
Chickens and alligators share a common ancestor. Seventy million years ago, they were both archosaurs. That’s why chickens possess a gene that has the ability to grow teeth. A few years ago, a biological researcher at the University of Wisconsin managed to activate this capacity, inducing a few mutant chickens to sprout alligator teeth. I predict there will be a metaphorically comparable event happening for you in 2013, Taurus. The “chicken” part of you will acquire some of the gravitas of an alligator.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
”People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground,” said French novelist Marcel Proust. An attitude like that is always a barrier to growth, of course, but in 2013 it would be especially ill-advised for you Geminis. In order to win full possession of the many blessings that will be offering themselves to you, you will have to give up your solid footing and dive into the depths over and over again. That may sometimes be a bit nerve-racking. But it should also generate the most fun you’ve had in years.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
Here’s the horoscope I hope to be able to write for you a year from now: You escaped the chains that kept you enslaved to your primary source of suffering. You broke the trance it kept you in, and you freed yourself from its demoralizing curse. Now you have forged a resilient new relationship with your primary source of suffering — a relationship that allows you to deal with it only when it’s healthy for you to do so and only when you feel strong enough to do it. Very nicely done! Congratulations! Excellent work!

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
”In this world,” said Oscar Wilde, “there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” I’m counting on you to refute the last part of that questionable assertion, Leo. According to my analysis of the long-term astrological omens, you will definitely be getting what you want in the next six months. You will receive your prize … you will earn your badge … you will win a big game or claim your birthright or find your treasure. When that happens, I trust you will make sure it is an enduring blessing. There will be no sadness involved!

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
English poet Alfred Tennyson wrote so many memorable lines that he is among the top ten most frequently cited authors in The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. One of his most famous passages was “’Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all.” When he was on his death bed at age 83, his enigmatic last words were, “I have opened it.” Let’s make that declaration your mantra for the coming year, Virgo. In your case, it will have nothing to do with death, but just the opposite. It will be your way of announcing your entrance into a brighter, lustier, more fertile phase of your life. Try saying it right now: “I have opened it!”

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Back in 1830, it was expensive to stay up and do things in your room after dark. To earn enough money to pay for the whale oil that would light your lamp for an hour, you had to work for 5.4 hours. And today? It’s cheaper. You have to put in less than a second of hard labor to afford an hour’s worth of light. I suspect that in 2013 there will be a similar boost in your ease at getting the light you need to illuminate your journey. I’m speaking metaphorically here, as in the insight that arises from your intuition, the emotional energy that comes from those you care about, and the grace of the Divine Wow. All that good stuff will be increasing.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
”I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life,” said Scorpio painter Georgia O’Keeffe, “and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” I think her declaration is excellent medicine for you. In 2013, you will have great potential for upgrading your relationship with your fears — not necessarily suppressing them or smashing them, but rather using them more consistently as a springboard, capitalizing on the emotions they unleash, and riding the power they motivate you to summon.

 
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
”Ambition can creep as well as soar,” said Irish philosopher Edmund Burke. That will be good for you to remember throughout 2013, Sagittarius. Later this year, the time may come for your ambition to soar — in the month of April, for example, and again in the month of August. But for the foreseeable future, I think your ambition will operate best if you keep it contained and intense, moving slowly and gradually, attending to the gritty details with supreme focus.


CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
In Tom Robbins’ book Skinny Legs and All, one of the characters, Ellen Cherry, has a conversation with a voice in her head. The voice gives her a piece of advice: “The trick is this: keep your eye on the ball. Even when you can’t see the ball.” I think that happens to be excellent counsel for you to heed during the next six months, Capricorn. You may not always be able to figure out what the hell is going on, but that shouldn’t affect your commitment to doing the right thing. Your job is to keep your own karma clean and pure — and not worry about anyone else’s karma.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
I’ll be bold and predict that 2013 will be a time when you’ll discover more about the art of happiness than you have in years. Here are some clues to get you started. 1. “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” -Agnes Repplier. 2. “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus. 3. “For the rational, healthy person, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality.” -Nathaniel Branden. 4. “Our happiness springs mainly from moderate troubles, which afford the mind a healthful stimulus, and are followed by a reaction which produces a cheerful flow of spirits.” -E. Wigglesworth. 5. “Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation.” -William H. Sheldon. 6. “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” -Charles Kingsley.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
In 2013, I pledge to help you feel at peace and in love with your body; I will do everything in my power to encourage you to triumph over media-induced delusions that tempt you to wish you were different from who you actually are. My goal is to be one of your resourceful supporters in the coming months — to be a member of your extensive team of allies. And I will be working with you to ensure that this team grows to just the right size and provides you with just the right foundation. If all goes well, your extra help will ensure that you finish almost everything you start in the coming year. You will regularly conquer everyday chaos and be a master of artful resolutions.

Homework:
Send me your New Year’s resolutions. Go to RealAstrology.com and click on “Email Rob.” For extra credit, also send me your anti-resolutions: Weird habits and vices that you pledge to continue.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HORSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at  1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

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