Author: VC Reporter

Chk Chk Chk

A !!! show is a hot, sweaty, unhinged freak fest, to which there are only three official rules: “Don’t kick anybody in the face, don’t get each other pregnant and try not to pee your pants,” drummer John Pugh told the crowd at the sold-out El Rey Theater in Los Angeles on Dec. 10. Fair enough. Honestly, though, it was difficult to obey even those simple caveats as the seven-piece ensemble — whose name is commonly pronounced “Chk Chk Chk,” although any trio of repeated monosyllabic words can be applied — pumped its way through a set that, disappointingly, barely broke the one-hour mark. Bred in the indie rock scene but aspiring to a deeper kind of funkiness than their dance-punk peers, the Sacramento-based septet don’t get their knowledge of groove from second-hand sources like Gang of Four and Public Image Ltd. They go straight to the masters — namely, groups like Chic and Zapp. As a result, !!!’s sound is smoother than it is angular, more like a hardcore dance band with punk leanings than vice-versa. It’s sonically violent enough to elicit moshing, but throbs with enough underlying sexual force to prompt rampant impregnation. And considering that their mantra is “Everybody cut loose,” controlling one’s bladder while they’re playing almost goes against the nature of the music. Loosening inhibitions wasn’t much of a problem at this show, neither...

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Funny can’t buy you love

Funny can’t buy you love I’m a 23-year-old guy, just out of college. I dated a lot in school and found it easy to meet girls in class or through friends. Now I’m going out more than ever, but having the hardest time even breaking the ice. I know women say they value a guy with a sense of humor. Should I memorize some jokes or funny lines? I read an article that suggested teasing a girl by pretending you have a point system, meaning whenever she does something you can bust her on, you say, “You just lost a point!” so she thinks she has to work to date you. Does stuff like that actually get you anywhere? — A Man In Need Of A Plan Canned pickup lines are the cheap toupee of humor. Sure, they’ll get a woman’s attention, and maybe even make her laugh — same as she will if your head reminds her of a freeze-frame of somebody being attacked by a ferret. The guy who tosses cheesy lines around — “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” —is the warm-up act for the guy who talks to women like a human. A study of which openers work best, by UK researchers Christopher Bale and Rory Morrison, distinguishes wit (spontaneous jokes that fit the context exactly, are genuinely funny and require intelligence) from...

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ARIES March 21-April 19 It\\\’s possible there\\\’s still enough oil buried in the earth to sustain our civilization\\\’s exorbitant appetite for material comforts for another 100 years. Or it may be true, as some researchers suggest, that global reserves of black gold are rapidly dwindling, and 20 years from now we\\\’ll all be farmers and hunters sitting around campfires at night telling stories. Whichever scenario comes to pass, Aries, you\\\’ll be happiest and smartest and healthiest if you cultivate a simple and earthy relationship with luxury–maybe something akin to poet Omar Khayyam\\\’s notion, which was \\\”a jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou beside me singing in the wilderness.\\\” The coming week is a perfect time for you to practice this approach. TAURUS April 20-May 20 Your self-image is too small, in my opinion. You\\\’ve crammed your identity into a few pigeonholes, and it\\\’s dying to escape. To launch you on the path to expansion, let\\\’s stimulate your imagination with some exercises. Start by visualizing yourself as being the opposite gender. What would your name be? Now picture yourself as being a different race and having an alternate ethnic background. How would that affect your philosophy of life? Imagine yourself working at a job or career other than the one you actually have, and living in a different city, and making $20,000 more a year than you...

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CAMARILLO Paseo Camarillo Cinemas 390 Lantana St. 383-2267 Ballets Russes Fri.-Thurs., 12 noon, 4:45 p.m. Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont Fri.-Sat., 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10 p.m.; Sun.-Thurs., 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45 p.m. Paradise Now Fri.-Sat., 2:30, 7:30, 9:40 p.m.; Sun.-Thurs., 2:30, 7:30 p.m. Pride & Prejudice Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m., 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:55 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m., 1:45, 4:30, 7:15 p.m.; Mon.-Thurs., 1:45, 4:30, 7:15 p.m. Edwards Cinema 680 Ventura Blvd. 383-8866 Call theater for titles and showtimes. THOUSAND OAKS Janss Marketplace Mann 9 Moorpark Rd./Hillcrest Drive 374-9656 Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe Fri.-Tues., 10:40 a.m., 12:30, 2, 3:50, 5, 7:10, 8, 10:30 p.m. The Family Stone Fri.-Tues., 11 a.m., 1:30, 4:10, 7, 9:40 p.m. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Fri.-Tues., 11:40 a.m., 3:10, 6:40, 10 p.m. Just Friends Fri.-Tues., 12 noon, 2:30, 4:50, 7:20, 9:30 p.m. King Kong Fri.-Sat., 10:50 a.m., 11:50 a.m., 2:40, 3:40, 6:30, 7:30, 10:20, 11:30 p.m.; Sun.-Tues., 10:50 a.m., 11:50 a.m., 2:40, 3:40, 6:30, 7:30, 10:20 p.m. Noddy Saves Xmas / Candy Land Adventure Sat.-Sun., 9:30, 11:30 a.m. Syriana Fri.-Tues., 12:10, 3:30, 6:50, 9:50 p.m. Walk the Line Fri.-Tues., 1:20, 4:20, 7:40, 10:40 p.m. United Artists Oaks Shopping Center 777-FILM Aeon Flux Fri.-Tues., 12 noon, 4:10, 8:40 p.m. Chicken Little Fri.-Tues., 2:20, 6:30 p.m. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Fri.-Tues., 1:30, 4:50, 8:30 p.m....

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